10 Reasons Why Facebook Should NEVER Do Outbound Marketing #MTW

This blog post is one of several Marketing Transformation Success Stories we'll be featuring in celebration of  Marketing Transformation Week , April 4-8, 2011.

Below is a countdown of the top 10 reasons why Facebook should NEVER use outbound marketing. Oh what a world that would be!

10. You would receive a call at dinner every time you received a Facebook friend request.

9. Facebook advertisements would run during Dancing With the Stars to demand that you update your status to say that you're watching Dancing With The Stars .

8. Poking someone would send a person to your front door to ... poke you.

7. Facebook Groups would exhibit at trade shows and collect business cards to try to recruit more members.

6. Notifications of your friends' birthdays would be emailed to you twice daily with a subject line IN ALL CAPS REMINDING YOU TO BUY A GIFT.

5. Radio advertisements would announce when someone recently updated their relationship status to 'Single' so others could comment that they 'like' it.

4. Facebook would buy magazine spreads to encourage people to 'like' Charlie Sheen's Facebook page.

3. If you hadn't logged in for over 3 days, Facebook would buy a plot on your neighbors lawn to place a billboard that reminded you to login.

2. Everytime a friend tagged you in a photo album, Facebook would print each photo in a 8.5 X 18 glossy tri-fold brochure and mail it to your house.

And the number one reason why Facebook should NEVER do outbound marketing?

1. If you didn't have a lot of 'Friends', Facebook would buy an email list of all your previous classmates, colleagues and exes and send them a note asking them to 'friend' you.

There you have it folks! So keep on transforming your marketing and be thankful that Facebook does it the INBOUND way!

What other funny things could you imagine Facebook doing "outbound"?