It's late at night and I'm finishing a presentation for tomorrow, and my email tells me I just got 7 new emails. Four of them are leads from our website (cool!), one is from Brian, one from Dharmesh (we work late at HubSpot [grin]) and one from someone I don't know with the subject "Suggestion re: blog.hubspot.com". I've been meeting a lot of folks through this blog, and figured this was someone with a comment or an idea about a new article. Wrong. It's an SEO consultant pitching me on why I need their help. For your reading pleasure I have placed his email below, with what I was thinking when I read it in italics, and my email reply back to him. Some info has been deleted to protect the guilty. Enjoy.
The Email a Spammy SEO Consultant Sent Me
Sent: Friday, December 14, 2007 1:17 AM
Subject:Suggestion re: blog.hubspot.com
Dear Website Owner, [I should have deleted it when I saw this.]
If I could get you five times the RELEVANT traffic at a substantially reduced cost would you be interested? [Duh. Nice Sales 101 tactic of asking a question with a "yes" answer.] We can place your website on top of the Natural Listings on Google, Yahoo and MSN. [Then place your own site there and stop emailing me.] Our Search Engine Optimization team delivers more top rankings than anyone else and we can prove it. [How can you prove you deliver more SEO results than anyone else? This is not possible.] We do not use "link farms" or "black hat" methods that Google and the other search engines frown upon and can use to de-list or ban your site. The techniques are proprietary, involving some valuable closely held trade secrets. [If you can't explain it to me, then it is probably black hat, or so simple I should not pay you for it.] Our prices are less than half of what other companies charge. [Oh good. I was ready to pay double what others charge.]
I would be happy to send you a proposal using the top search phrases for your area of expertise. [If you spent 1 minute on my website you would know this.] Please contact me at your convenience so I can start saving you some money. Please do not hesitate to email or call me if you would like further information. [Really? I was going to call, but then got worried you didn't want me to call. Thanks for clarifying you actually do want me to call you.]
Executive Vice President [What's with the title inflation in sales these days?]
My Response to the Spam SEO Consultant
I would be happy to hire you if you knew what you were doing, but it is clear you do not.
1) You have a broken link on your homepage
2) Your website does not have a 301 permanent redirect
3) You are using meta keyword stuffing on your homepage
4) You have no inbound links to your website
5) Your Website Grade is a 7/100. Run a report at www.WebsiteGrader.com
Maybe this is why you need to send spam emails to get new clients instead of getting them through SEO.
Please remove me from your list.
Was I too harsh? How many spam emails do you get from SEO consultants who have no idea what they are doing? Leave a comment below and let's discuss.
Want to know more about what to look for in an SEO consultant? Read these articles:
- 6 Tips To Not Get Ripped Off When Buying SEO Services
- 7 Signs You Should Run Screaming From an SEO Consultant