A Festivus for the Rest of Us! The Airing of Marketing Grievances

"A Festivus for the rest of us!"

If you were a fan of Seinfeld, you know that today, December 23rd, is the day we celebrate Festivus. If you weren't a Seinfeld fan, don't worry, you'll still find enjoyment in this post. 

Starting out as a family tradition of Seinfeld scriptwriter Dan O'Keefe, the fictional holiday served as non-religious alternative to the commercialism associated with Christmas, and was featured in episode 10 of Seinfeld's final season in 1997.

The Festivus celebration included a Festivus feast, a bare-bones, aluminum "Festivus Pole" for decoration, participation in various "Feats of Strength," and the practice of referring to common, easily explainable events as "Festivus Miracles."

Oh, and how could I forget? The "Airing of Grievances" -- in which each Festivus participant expresses the pent-up disappointment in others (and the world at large) they've had in the past year. Pleasant, huh?

Well, in the spirit of Festivus, we decided to join in on the action, so I asked my fellow HubSpot marketers to share their own marketing grievances. Here's what's really been grinding our gears over the past year ...

The 2013 Airing of Marketing Grievances

Spammy Marketers

"I can't stand it when crappy, spammy marketers give the rest of us a bad name." -- Laura Fitton, Inbound Evangelist 

"Yeah, I cringe every time a marketer sends me an offer I don't qualify for. Don't send me something that's meant only for new customers when I'm an existing customer." -- Debbie Farese, Senior Manager, Sales Enablement

Cursory Commenters

"It frustrates me to no end when blog commenters leave comments that make it obvious they haven't even read the full post. 'You forgot point X, Y, Z,' you say? 'No we didn't. They're right there in paragraphs 2, 5, 7,' replies my disgruntled inner monologue." -- Yours Truly

The Inefficient Unsubscriber 

"I don't get why people reply to our emails with 'UNSUBSCRIBE ME' in all caps. The unsubscribe link was right there, and it must've taken you more effort to draft that reply email." -- Niti Shah, Head of Email Marketing

The GIF Creator ... and Jeopardy

"I don't care what Jeopardy or the creator of the GIF says the "official" pronunciation is. GIF isn't a peanut butter -- JIF is. Usage should dictate pronunciation!" -- Corey Eridon, Lead Blog Editor

Gobbledygook

"I can't stand overused marketing jargon. 'Big data,' the 'internet of things,' 'disruption,' 'innovation.' You name it, I hate it." -- Katie Burke, Public Relations Manager

Anti Thought-Provoking Commentary 

"I really love it when the first comment on a really thoughtful blog post is in regard to a typo. Thanks for focusing on what really matters, guys." -- Ginny Soskey, Staff Writer

The Disrespectful Social Media Attacker

"It kills me when people automatically attack a company's social media manager if they're angry about something the company did or didn't do. There's a real person with feelings behind that corporate social media account, people. Please act respectful and try not to kill the messenger." -- Brittany Leaning, Social Media Manager 

The Controversy for the Sake of Controversy Blogger

"It really rubs me the wrong way when bloggers focus on stirring up controversy for the sake of being controversial and generating views as opposed to focusing on adding value and being helpful." -- Erik Devaney, Content Strategist

Too. Many. New. Features.

"It seems like every week there are four or five new social media feature releases to keep up with. There are too many. STAHP!" -- Corey Eridon, Lead Blog Editor

Falsified Contact Information

"It's so annoying when people provide false names (Seymore Butts? really?) and other contact information on our forms. The icing on the cake? When those people proceed to shame us for our faulty email personalization as a result." -- Niti Shah, Head of Email Marketing

Misleading Headlines

"I get that it's important to write compelling, eye-catching headlines for your content, but I hate when other marketers write spammy, misleading headlines that don't at all align with the content within them. It's so deceptive and definitely not a marketing best practice." -- Katie Burke, Public Relations Manager

Tired, Unoriginal Marketing "Predictions"

"'Guys, mobile is the future.' I'm so sick and tired of hearing this. Mobile is no longer the future. It's the present. And that's just one example of unoriginal marketing 'predictions' that have been beaten to death." -- Brittany Leaning, Social Media Manager

Any End of Year "Prediction" Post, For That Matter ...

"To piggyback off Brittany's grievance above, how about end of year marketing predictions posts in general? Even ours. Especially ours. There are too many generic ones out there, and it's overkill." -- Corey Eridon, Lead Blog Editor

The "[Concept] Is Dead" Claim

"I can't stand the claim, '[Concept] Is Dead.' First of all I don't understand why you're excited that a marketing tactic is dead. Do you have lifelong beef with it? Did it wrong you, and you're ready to claim your victory? Second of all, let's face it: Most things people claim have 'died' are still alive and well." -- Jay Acunzo, Senior Content Manager 

The Vindictive Email Recipient 

"It pains me when recipients who opted in to our email list mark our emails as spam instead of just unsubscribing. My poor email deliverability!" -- Niti Shah, Head of Email Marketing

The Term "Thought Leader"

"It sounds like you're a cult leader corralling a flock of mindless minions. Even worse -- anyone who is a self-professed thought leader. Doesn't someone have to dub you a thought leader in order to be one?" -- Corey Eridon, Lead Blog Editor 

The All-Fluff "Thought Leader"

"Or ... how about when a marketing 'thought leader,' 'influencer,' 'expert,' or 'guru' makes a bold proclamation based entirely on opinion -- not data, facts, or real logic? Love that." -- Erik Devaney, Content Strategist

Internet Haters

"99% of social media users and blog commenters are awesome and productive. It's the other 1% who are truly painful: negative, accusatory, and impossible to please." -- Katie Burke, Public Relations Manager

Have some marketing grievances of your own? Share them in the comments below -- you'll be glad you got them off your chest.