The Urban Dictionary Definitions of What Marketers Do

Have you ever been asked by one of your friends or family members: So, what is it exactly that you do?

You stand there, jaw dropped, stomach twisted, heavy hearted, as a single tear rolls down your cheek ...

Okay, maybe it’s not that dramatic, but it hurts! 

For all the hard work that we do as marketers, sometimes the recognition for our efforts is not quite as worldly as we would hope. In fact, a study showed that marketers are less popular than politicians and lawyers. That’s kind of a hard pill to swallow, right?

For this post, I flipped that question on its head and put it to the Urban Dictionary to find out: What is it exactly that people think marketers do? Some of the definitions are poignantly funny, some may feel a bit like a punch in the gut. Prepare for both.

Disclaimer: If you are easily offended, now might be a good time to stop scrolling, and check out this blog post featuring really cute animals, instead.

Marketing as Defined by Urban Dictionary

1) The UD Definition of Marketing

Unfortunately, decades of bad marketing and spamming people have left us standing at the foothill of an extremely steep uphill battle. For example, the contributors over at Urban Dictionary define Marketing as:

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We often preach that traditional marketing is dead here at HubSpot. Tactics like cold calling, pop up ads, spam emailing, etc. are all big no-nos on the inbound train; and for good reason! So what does Urban Dictionary have to say about all of those tactics?

2) The UD Definition of Cold Calling

According to the folks over at Urban Dictionary, cold calling involves:

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Ouch.

Make sure your marketing has a soul! Here are some companies that do this really well, if you're looking for inspiration.

3) The UD Definition of Banner Ads

Are you still spending money on banner ads or pop up ads? Well, consumers might think that banner ads are:

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Well, you certainly don't want to waste your marketing budget on annoying your site visitors. There are some really cool paid targeting options available on social networks now, particularly on Facebook. If you're looking to pursue advertising that's more personalized and contextual, find some help here.

4) The UD Definition of Email Marketing

Although email can be quite effective as part of a well thought out and integrated marketing strategy, your crafty email content may not always be appreciated by its recipients. To them, your email is:

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We recommend leveraging personalisation and context in your email content, and writing your emails so that the recipient knows it was meant for them and the value is clear. Still, it probably won't be Shakespeare. Sorry about that.

5) The UD Definition of Advertising

While inbound marketing doesn't typically turn to advertising as the first, second, or even third marketing tactic in our toolkit, this characterization may be a bit harsh:

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What do you think? Too much? Or spot on?

6) The UD Definition of Spam

We particularly loved the definition of our nemesis, spam:

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I mean, that's essentially what it is.

You might be thinking twice about sending out that email blast to a list of cold leads now, right? Let's hope so.

7) The UD Definition of PPC

How’s your SEO strategy? Are you including PPC advertising as a part of it? Here's what Urban Dictionary thinks of it:

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I'll let the SEO managers and PPC managers duke that one out.

8) The UD Definition of Blogging

No, bloggers aren't safe, either! Blogging was defined as:

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Heh. And to think I shared that in a blog post. Keep on keepin' on, bloggers.

We got a giggle out of a lot of the definitions and can understand why they evoke such a visceral response. As inbound marketers, we put all our efforts into creating marketing people love, and it’s clear there is still work left to be done. But we all like a challenge, right? (And a chuckle, which I hope you got from these outlandish definitions.)