Sales can be rough. Some reps deal with hard days by going for a coffee or listening to music. I'm always asking what salespeople's most effective motivation-boosting techniques are.
One of the most popular responses? Scrolling through funny sales memes, and short videos, or having a little fun with their email subject lines. Here are a few of my favorite sales jokes. Hope you get a nice little chuckle out of them.
1. When they tell you they need one more week to think it over … on the last week of the month.
A sales manager was addressing an underperforming sales team at the start of a new month:
“We are going to have a sales contest this month. The winners will get to enter next month’s contest.”
3. "Sorry, I didn't get your call"
4. "Yes ... she should be"
5. Overworked Office Manager
Salesperson: “This computer will cut your workload by 50%.”
Office manager: “That’s great! I’ll take two of them.”
6. "Your car ran off the road, your house is overrun by fire ants, and your identity has been stolen?"
7. The "beginner" approach
A young salesperson peeped into the office of someone who looked like a sales manager, muttered something, then started walking away. After retreating a little he seemed to change his mind and headed back to the door -- where after some hesitation, he started to back away again. The sales manager, feeling sorry for the young man, and surprised that he was so badly trained, called him in.
"You're a salesperson aren't you? What are you selling?"
"Sir ... uh ... yes ... I'm a salesman. I'm sorry to bother you. I was selling insurance, but I'm sure you don't want any. Sorry to have wasted your time."
Feeling sorry for the young bungler, the sales manager bought two policies to give the young salesman some confidence and then started teaching him about selling. He said: "You should have different pre-planned approaches for different kinds of—"
"But I do, sir,” the young salesman interrupted, “the one I just used is my planned approach for sales managers. It always works. Thank you!"
8. Wishful thinking
9. I like Jim Carrey's mentality better
Source: Sales Humor
10. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.
Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the "unbreakable" comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside."
11. When your prospect actually has a good objection.
12. Since we're all dog lovers at HubSpot (part 1)
The entire North American sales force of Frisky Dog Food was gathered together for their national sales convention at Miami Beach. In the great auditorium the marketing director was giving a performance that any revivalist would have been proud of. Using the old pattern of call and response, he was really working up the spirits of his sales team.
“Who’s got the greatest dog food in North America?” the marketing director asked.
“We have!” the audience replied.
“And who’s got the greatest advertising campaigns?”
“Who’s got the most attractive packages?”
“Who’s got the biggest distribution?”
“Okay. So why aren’t we selling more of the product?”
One bold voice from the crowd replied:
“Because the darned dogs don’t like it.”
13. Since we're all dog lovers at HubSpot (part 2)
Source: Sales Humor
14. Is that all?
15. Thank you, next
16. "I'm just looking, thanks."
Source: Sales Humor
17. Passion for my job
"I love my sales job, it's the work I hate."
18. When you sell the customer no one else thought was ready.
19. As they should be!
20. You mean, "I have to check Amazon to see if they have it cheaper?"
Please forgive me, these are truly terrible but completely necessary.
21. "Always trust a glue salesperson. They tend to stick to their word."-Unknown
22. "The salesperson claimed the shoes were made from alligator, but I knew it was crock."-Larry Levin
23. "With some cashiers, things are slow to register." -Unknown
24. "I was fired from my job selling amplifiers because I didn’t achieve the sufficient volume of sales." -Unknown
25. "I used to sell Velcro, but I couldn’t stick with it." -Unknown
26. "I’m almost done making jokes about unemployed salespeople but they still need some work." -Unknown
At the end of the day, though, most salespeople just want two things: