25 Things You'll Have to Explain to Your Kids About Marketing One Day

by Pamela Vaughan

Date

March 11, 2013 at 9:00 AM

shocked little girl

You can't deny it: Marketing changes a mile a minute. Just think about how different things were 10, even 5 years ago! So when we recently discovered BuzzFeed's list of 25 things you'll have to explain to your kids one day, we thought it was just begging us to create a marketing parody.

So we did!

Take a look at these 25 things you'll probably have to tell your kids about marketing one day because they're either dying as effective marketing tactics, they weren't always around, or they're already a thing of the past.

25 Things You'll Have to Explain to Your Kids About Marketing One Day

1) What direct mail was.

direct mail resized 600

 

2) That there was this thing called the Yellowbook, and that's how people would search for local businesses.

yellowbook

3) How there was no such thing as internet marketing ... because there was no such thing as the internet.

old apple computer

4) How there was no such thing as mobile marketing either, because people's cell phones looked like this ...

motorola startac resized 600

 

And before that, this ...

retro cell phone

 

5) In fact, the only way to connect to the internet was to dial in on your computer through a modem.

AOL dial-up AOL connected

 

6) And people would get suckered into picking up cold calls from telemarketers because there was no caller ID or Do Not Call Registry.

frustrating cold call

7) You couldn't skip through TV commercials either.

commercials

8) How most websites looked something like this ...


early Amazon.com

9) And buying or renting lists were acceptable ways of growing your email marketing database.

email lists for rent

 

10) How companies could spam the heck out of your inbox with no legal repercussions whatsoever.

spam email

11) And how Facebook was originally just for Harvard University students, and it was ad-free.

early Facebook

12) How it was once cool to have banner, skyscraper, and pop-up ads on your website (and there was a time when people didn't automatically tune them out).

website ads

 

13) What this big thing was used for ...

empty billboard

 

14) And how the only way to buy things without going to a physical store was through one of these.

catalogs

15) How keyword stuffing, page sculpting, and buying inbound links were once considered SEO best practices.

keyword stuffing

 

16) And there was a time when younger demographics spent more time doing this ... 

girl watching retro tv

Than doing this ...

girl on laptop

17) How marketers pretty much had to guess about which of their marketing tactics were working because marketing analytics didn't exist.

blind marketer

 

18) And how this was the only social networking you could do ...

in-person networking

19) How the only thing marketers could automate was their out-of-office voicemail.

office voicemail

 

20) And that it once wasn't against the law to pay your customers to leave you positive online reviews.

make money online

 

21) How strangers used to knock on your door during dinner to try to sell you things.

door to door salesman

22) How these were once the main way people consumed content ...

newspapers

 

23) And this was once an innovative new advertising platform ...

retro radio

(This is called a "radio," by the way.)

24) How marketers used to have to bug their IT departments to make changes to their websites.

IT guy

 

25) What outbound marketing was ;-)

shouting at prospect

What else would you add to this list? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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