Hey kids, remember the Harlem Shake, the stupid dance that gave rise to a zillion lame YouTube videos? And Gangnam Style, its mind-numbing predecessor? Well, there's a brand-new crazy viral dance out there that marketers and athletes and boring corporate zombies everywhere will soon be able to ruin to their heart's delight. It's called the "Wiggle Jiggle" and it basically consists of idiots doing a line dance, which means a) anyone can do it, and b) you do it in a group, which are the two essential ingredients for a massive viral dance craze.
According to the Daily Dot, this insult to your intelligence was spawned in Texas, though I suspect that part of it also comes straight from hell and/or the same laboratory where Disney creates teen pop stars. Sadly, and amazingly, the Wiggle Jiggle is actually getting traction. That's right. People around the world are making their own Wiggle Jiggle dance videos and posting them on YouTube.
Of course you know what that means. This means that you must now prepare to see your own crazy colleagues in the marketing department doing their own version of the Wiggle Jiggle, maybe with the lyrics changed to be something kooky about the business you're in. Auto parts? Software? Advertising? Airlines?
Trust me, this will happen. No matter what business they're in, imbeciles everywhere will use this demented "dance" to make fools of themselves and annoy their coworkers while believing that they're the ones who are keeping their company "hip" and "relevant" and "fun."
Now you really can't wait for that next company all-hands, right? Just writing this post has destroyed a piece of my soul. Goodbye, cruel world.
Originally published Mar 5, 2014 6:19:00 PM, updated March 05 2014