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25 Job Titles That Describe What Your Co-Workers ACTUALLY Do

Most people's job titles are an accurate description of their role.

For example, if you manage your company's email marketing campaigns, your title might be something like "Email Marketing Manager." If you work in your company's customer service department, you might be a "Customer Service Representative."

Some job titles make a little less sense -- like say, "Dream Alchemist." (We'll save the scrutiny over those titles for another post.)

But what if your co-workers' job titles told it like it really is? Not in terms of what their job role is supposed to be -- but what they're actually known for? We got to thinking about this and brainstormed a list of what job titles would look like for some of the most common office personalities. We think you'll get a kick out of them ... 

25 Titles That Explain What Your Colleagues REALLY Do 

1)

principal-close-talker-1

How else would you know he had tuna for lunch?

 2)

vice-president-of-sweaty-handshakes-1

Be sure to have a few tissues handy.

3)

senior-really-just-shoe-shopping-online-associate-1

And not just on Cyber Monday, my friends. 

4) 

excel-spreadsheet-consultant

Your go-to guy for help with pivot tables, graphs, and other mathy things.

5) 

principal-baked-goods-provider

What's the occasion this time? Earth Day? Don't mind if I do!

6) 

awkward-eye-contact-intern

Often seen hanging around the office with Awkward Conversation Intern.

7) 

email-reply-all-specialist

A title often exhibited by -- but sadly, not limited to -- Awkward Eye Contact Intern.

8) 

chief-brown-noser

 Kissing butts and taking names since 5 a.m.

9) 

overly-friendly-manager-manager2-2

Just think Jennifer Aniston in Horrible Bosses (but hopefully not as inappropriate). 

10) 

bathroom-stall-banter-consultant

Just try to forget that you're both doing your business while chatting about the latest episode of The Bachelor. Just try.

11) 

shitstorm-manager

May also be known as simply Therapist. Or Everyone's Mentor Manager.

12) 

manager-of-frequently-missed-deadlines

Need it by Thursday? Tell her you need it by Monday.

13) 

shirking-responsibility-specialist

What is he working on again?

14) 

professional-gut-checker-2

Do you think calling this project an "utter failure" in this email is too harsh?

15) 

head-of-office-gossip

Always quick to spread the latest dirt on Overly Friendly Manager Manager.

16) 

chief-overinflated-self-importance-officer

He is so above doing that ... and that. (And that.)

17) 

professional-work-spouse

Is there food in my teeth?

18) 

flexible-work-hour-abuse-strategist

May also be known as Head of Is He REALLY Working From Home?

19) 

senior-always-ready-for-happy-hour-associate-2

It's 5 o'clock somewhere, right?

20) 

principal-party-planner

Hey, Earth Day deserves an office-wide celebration, too. I'm sure Senior Always Ready for Happy Hour Associate will be there in a heartbeat.

21) 

personal-detail-overshare-consultant

You didn't want to hear about the gruesome details of her last visit to the dentist? Too bad.

22) 

vice-president-of-taking-all-the-credit

So much for all that collaboration you two did together.

23) 

director-of-delegation

Usually either hangs out with -- or doubles as -- the Vice President of Taking All the Credit.

24) 

manager-of-coworker-matchmaking-2-2

It might be worth changing your Facebook relationship status to "It's Complicated."

25) 

secretly-funny-fellow-2

Have you ever hung out with Tyler outside of work? He's actually really funny.

Have any of these co-workers at your office? What other office personalities would you add?

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